You see him, you say quietly inside your head: "there he is again". You want to run away. You want to hide. You want to avoid the contact. You can't. You are cornered in the bistro next to the coffee machine. He starts talking and you immediately feel drained of energy. You feel tired and lethargic. Doom and gloom surrounds you. You try to think of a polite excuse to get away. You can't find one. He fires one dramatic assault after another. He talks about the economy, politics, habitancy at work, his family, the traffic, the stock market, his last flourishing venture, how much he made here and there, how pathetic the rest of the world is. He talks and talks and talks.
You see her, and you know it is downhill from here. She comes over like you are a lifesaver. You want to hide, you want to disappear or run away. You can't. She throws one drama after other at you. She talks about the economy, her family, her friends, the dramas, the conflicts, the challenges. She tells you how she is handling it (or not handling it). Whether way you feel like you are now carrying a sack of potatoes on your back, worse still you feel helpless in your ability to deal with the situation at hand. She talks and talks and talks. She tells you how good she is how bad the others are, how astounding life would be if they behaved a obvious way.
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What is base in the middle of these two scenarios? You are dealing with an vigor sucker. They suck your energy. They are good at it. They have so many ways of doing it. They bombard you with bad news, situations that nobody can do anything about. Stock market crashes, global warming, greedy corporations, bank fees, interest rates, political instability in the Middle East. They escalate the negative consequences of the situation to no end. They want you to feel the misery. Alternatively they may spin a "poor me" story. habitancy are doing so many bad things to them and they are being treated so unfairly. No one respects them or listens to them. If you are foolish adequate to offer a solution or a remedy, you will be bombarded with "Yes but"s or "don't you understand"s. other strategy they may use is to boast how good they are. They have had the luckiest break. They had had a gigantic pay rise, stock market success, business venture. Their son or daughter got into Harvard or got a gold medal at Olympics. They had a birdie at gold the other day. They have got to coolest car, had the most spirited party (with "A List" guests of course), champagne poured like crazy, so many good and profitable connections were made. They now have three more business ventures and seven Internet businesses. They are making seven form profits every day and they do not have to lift a finger. In fact they are buying their third yacht so they can sail to their incommunicable island in Greece. Their French chef has come up with this incredible recipe for Duck à l'Orange and The Sultan of Brunei just loved when they were dining together last week.
Energy suckers. They suck your vigor so they can feel good. They are addicted to it so they keep sucking.
Then there is the opposite. You see him. And you say (maybe not so quietly): "Thank goodness". You almost run to him. You immediately feel good in his presence. It does not matter who does the talking. There is an aura about him. He pays concentration to what you say, nods and "umm"s at the right places. You get that he understands you. He is interested in what you are sharing and when he speaks it is not to steal your thunder but to add to your story and contact or to show other complimentary perspective. You want to conversation and the occasion to go on forever. When you part, you contact a stretching of an vigor bond, a kinship. You call him a kindly soul.
You see her, and your heart opens up. You say: "just the man I needed". This is not romantic connection. She is a man who welcomes you to her field of energy. She may smile or frown. She may talk or listen. Whether way you feel good in her presence. You may share good news or bad ones. There is a validation, a sense of respect. You get that she understands you. She is interested in what you are sharing. When she speaks it is interesting, complimentary and you get a sense of elation listening. You want the conversation and the occasion to go on and on. When you part you feel a bond that continues to associate you. You call her a kindly soul.
What is base in the middle of these two scenarios? You are experiencing an vigor shower. This man is so grounded, so full of energy, grace, wisdom, kindness, comprehension that you feel cleaned up, refreshed, filled up, energised by just being with them. You get a more optimistic perspective on things. Your serotonin (feel good hormone) levels are higher.
Do you want less "energy sucking" in your life? Do you want more vigor showers in your life? How can you tell the difference? How do you know, as fast as possible, which one these groups does a man belong? There are two ways. First recipe takes a microscopic time and some observation skills. It is more of a reasoning process. You look for consistency in the middle of their thoughts, words and actions. Their words give you an indication of their thoughts. Do their actions line up with their words? Do they walk their talk? Do they come good on what they say? Or is it just hot air? Do they make promises they do not keep?
The second recipe is more of a gut feel, something you can construct over time. When you meet an vigor sucker there is often an inner knowing and you contact a windup down feeling. Maybe you settle to be a bit careful, or you get a strange feeling. Maybe you just do not feel right but can not elucidate this feeling. This is your inner compass. When you are meet one who does shower you with energy, you feel an immediate occasion up, a sense of relief, like you are advent home, like you have known this man for a long time. This is your inner compass. While this compass may not be 100% strict and may need fine tuning by you, it is a dependable gauge. Using it is like learning a new language. The more you use it, the best you will get at it.
One final word. You may not be able to pick and pick all the time. You may need to be with vigor suckers due to obvious circumstances. You may be deprived, for a while, from those who shower you with energy. Any way if you are aware who you are with, then you can be prepared to be truthful how much or how microscopic you join in and how much to protect yourself.
vigor Suckers, vigor Showers and Your Internal CompassSee Also : todays world news headlines
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